Perimenopause in a Demanding World

I was so busy dealing with my teenage children and their hormones that I did not even notice what was happening to me. Somewhere along the way, I’d crossed the threshold into perimenopause, with all its mood swings, brain fog, and sleepless nights. When did it happen? Even now, as I write this post, it feels strange, like I am not writing it about myself. It cannot be me! I am too young. But here I am. I am now navigating a phase of life I never quite saw coming and trying to make sense of it all while juggling everything else life throws my way.

Before I continue, let me just clarify that I am not trying to downplay the challenges men face or their contributions. They have their own battles, and I will leave it to them to share their experiences. But as a woman writing for women, I am here to focus on the struggles we face during perimenopause. Struggles which often go unspoken or unseen.

Perimenopause is like a silent intruder, sneaking in while you are busy living your life and managing everything else. It is not just hot flashes or disrupted menstrual cycle. It is the mood swings, disturbed sleep, the brain fog, the energy dips that make you question if you are even the same person anymore. It is a complex phase that impacts every part of your life. We rarely see it coming because no one talks about it openly. I hear many women say that they are unable discussing this with their mothers – women who went though the same experience and should share their wisdom and provide emotional support, reassuring their daughters that they are not loosing it, that this is just a natural phase which will pass like everything else. But of course we cannot blame them entirely. For women of older generations, this was an even quieter storm. There were no discussions, no open acknowledgement of perimenopause. The isolation they felt must have been suffocating.

On top of everything else we face during perimenopause – the hormone shifts, the unpredictable symptoms – the modern world seems to demand even more from us. We are expected to perform at 100%, always be positive, maintain mindfulness, excel at work, and juggle the responsibilities of being great mothers, partners, and friends. And with the rising cost of living and constant demands for our attention, from work emails to family obligations, it can feel overwhelming.

Let’s not forget the constant pressure to stay in form, whether it is through regular exercise, eating healthy, or maintaining a certain body image. Yes, I get it, these things are important for your health and can help manage the symptoms of perimenopause. But the pressure to meet these expectations can also feel overwhelming, especially at times when all you want is to lay on the sofa and binge-watch something easy* on Netflix because of the constant exhaustion caused by the troubled or disturbed sleep. It is important to remember that while these habits are beneficial, it is okay to acknowledge when we need a break or when the weight of it all becomes too much to carry.

The pressure to do it all can be immense. It is to forget that we are only human. The constant balancing act can be too much to bear at times. It is important to remember that it is okay to say ‘This week, my house will be a mess, and I am fine with that’. It is ok not to prepare an elaborate dinner when you do not have the energy, because trust me, your family will be just fine if they have egg and beans. Perimenopause is already a lot to manage, and adding the weight of trying to be perfect in every other area of life is just too much.

Asking for help is not a weakness, but strength. Whether it is reaching out to a friend, family member, or colleague, it is vital to acknowledge when we need support.

But it is also important to be direct with the people around about the type of help you need. Otherwise, you risk becoming even more frustrated when the support you get is not what you actually require. Being clear about your needs, whether it is asking for help with childcare, household chores, or emotional support, can alleviate stress and prevent misunderstandings.

*Quick Tip

Although it’s okay sometimes to have sofa time, by no means is this my encouragement. If you want to do it, have a short walk first and you will notice that you start feeling better. Aim for 10k steps per day.

• 1 min – blood flow elevates
• 5 mins – mood improves
• 10 mins – cortisol reduces
• 15 mins – blood sugar reduces
• 30 mins – fat burning begins
• 45 mins – overthinking reduces
• 60 mins – dopamine increases

I wanted to write this post not only to share my experience but also to show other women that they are not alone. Yes, there are times when everything feels overwhelming, and I often feel like the weight of it all is pressing me down. I feel like I have not even started living my life to the fullest, how can I already be at this stage of my life?

But sharing my experiences and fears with others has really helped. Keeping it all inside only increases the stress, and it is so much better to have an open conversation with friends who might also be going through the same thing. You might even end up laughing about your not-so-clever moments when brain fog hits. The important thing is that it feels good to talk about it. Once it is out of your system, even for just a little while, you feel lighter and more at ease.

However, not everyone has friends or family who are able to discuss their experiences or are prepared to listen. And it is ok. That’s why it is so important to build a community where we can openly share our experiences, offer advice, and provide support and encouragement. Whether it is exchanging tips on managing symptoms, offering words of comfort, or simply knowing that someone else understands what you are going through, this community can be a lifeline. We all have something valuable to contribute, and every voice matters.

Through my blog, I hope to make a difference, break the silence, and provide a space where women can thrive during this phase of life together.